I wasn’t her first, but I can’t be sure because we never really talked about it. I never told her that she was my first, either. We had been friends since junior high, had a lot of common friends and interests. We started to hang out more, making passes. One day she drove me home from school before my parents got home and we had sex. It was sort of a blurry experience at the time. Too fast, a little messy. I didn’t take her to prom. Maybe that was my first mistake? We continued to date for about another year or two, and stayed friends for several years after that. At some point, too much had changed between us. I was married and living in another state. I called her up one day, asking for some professional help, and she said, “you only call me if you want something from me.” I’ve subsequently tried reaching out, but her silence is unequivocal.