From age 18-21 I was in a relationship with a devoutly Christian young man.  I was quite religious myself; in fact, we met at a Christian college.  Because of our beliefs, we never had sex.  There was the occasional groping (on my part, he only touched my vulva once), and he masturbated over me a few times, but never any penetrative sex.  We broke up after being engaged for a year.

Then I met a new guy who was wild and secular and the exact opposite of the guy I’d been dating.  So exciting!  I was unknowingly going through a manic stage due to undiagnosed bipolar and was being quite reckless and trying new things.  We had sex about six months into the relationship…well, sort of.  We were both obese and he had a very small penis, so he penetrated maybe  1 1/2in.  We were both frustrated, and to quote him, “It’s not like the pornos at all.”  He told me he wasn’t a virgin but I believe he was lying.  I still had the ‘I had sex!’ glow and didn’t allow myself to be disappointed by the act for a long time, because hey, it’s my first time, it has to be special!  No, it wasn’t.  But that’s ok.  I’ve come to terms with it now.  I don’t regret it, I just wish I had been a little more knowledgeable about sex and sexuality before we had attempted it.

Side note: My now-boyfriend of 5 1/2 years was a 27-year-old virgin when we met.  I was his first, and he says he has no regrets of waiting so long and not sleeping with previous girlfriends.  He says “It just wasn’t the right timing yet.”