As a 29 year old male virgin, it can be hard to openly talk about sex. There’s so much cultural stigma associated with sex that the pressure can feel overwhelming. Let me start by mentioning that I have never been in a relationship either. I’ve had great friends, of both genders, and I maintain those friendships as best I can, but to know someone in such intimate detail is something that I struggle with. That said, I’ve had my share of missed opportunities for relationships, and some could say I have loved.

I don’t think that any of this defines me. I am my own person, and gradually over the last 29, near 30, years, I have found who I am, and I love whom I am. I am confident; I love to be; I love to dance. I was not like this in High School. I avoided almost all the dances. I didn’t go to Prom. I didn’t go to Homecoming. It wasn’t until late college that I truly found myself, and I’m still discovering me.

They say life is not about the destination, it’s about the journey. I think it’s not quite true.  I don’t think there is a destination in life.  I think that there’s always something just on the horizon that we’re always reaching toward, be it sex, love, retirement, or the winning Powerball numbers.  The great Solomon Burke once said, “Everybody Needs Somebody to Love”.  Me? I, like the Beatles, get by with a little help from my friends.

I feel that a lot of people do, however, confuse intimacy with sex. While one may lead to the other, they are not the same. Google’s dictionary defines Intimacy as “close familiarity or friendship; closeness”. It is possible to have a very intimate and deep relationship with a person, to have that emotional connection, but to be ultimately physically distant.

Will I probably end up thinking I ‘lost’ it too late? Only time will tell. I do know that I have friends with kids, and friends without kids, friends who are married, friends who are single, friends in relationships with other friends, and friends who are divorced (with or without kids).  It is these friendships I truly cherish, more than any word or social stigma.