Growing up I never really fully understood the meaning of “losing your virginity”.  All I know about virginity is what I saw on TV and in movies.  I know that to truly “lose your virginity” it had to be romantic, you had to be in love with the person, and that it was something that you were going to remember for the rest of your life. Two out of the three are true for me. It was nowhere near romantic, I was not in love with the person, but one thing for sure I will remember it for the rest of my life.

I was a freshman in college; I had been dating this guy for about two months. I really liked him and I thought that he really liked me. That night we were hanging out and we started to kiss. One thing lead to another and some how in everything that was going on the words I love you came into play.  Looking back on it I did not really love him but I did have real feelings for him. After that we talked and made the choice to go back to his room and take things father. With in the time that he left I paced back and forth in my room telling myself that this was going to happen. When I went up to his room I could tell that something was different. When it was all said and done all I remember was blood everywhere and the worst pain in my life. I left his room to go back down to my room and change into PJ’s. When I was in my room all I did was cry. I ended up going over to my friends room and crying and her just comforting me.  I ended up going back to his room and just falling asleep on the floor next to him.  Two days later he ended up braking up with me because he told me that he liked my friend more then he like me (this was the friend that was comforting me that night that we had sex).

After all of this happened I called my sister and told her what had happened.  I told her not to tell my mom. She ended up telling my mom and my mom called me and told me everything was going to be ok. I felt like I lost more then my virginity but like I was losing my mind as well. The movies never showed me this part of sex.  I know that what happened with all of this is not how I wanted things to happened. But I can’t change anything about it now.  I want people to know that you are not just losing your virginity but you are gaining understanding on how a simple choice can really change you as a person. I know that this has changed how I look at sex and losing your virginity.